This trip we had window seats on the Mt. Fuji side of the train, so Mc, not having seen Fuji-san yet, kept an eye on the window. A note about Mt. Fuji - Fuji-san is the original ninja. He is the most famous mountain in Japan because of his perfect mountain-shape and because you can see him from almost everywhere in Honshu. Despite this, I chased Fuji-san for 2 years before I was able to catch a good picture of him. People would take me to places specifically because they were beautiful Mt. Fuji viewing spots and he would just not be there. I would look down at the brochure picture of Fuji-san behind a beautiful lake, look up and only see a beautiful lake. Fuji-san can pull up a cloud-screen so perfectly constructed that you would never know that it was obscuring an entire mountain. I guess Fuji-san doesn't like the paparazzi. Anyway, Mc came to understand this in his efforts to see Fuji-san. At one point of the train ride while I was writing, Mc said, "Look! Is that Mt. Fuji?!" and I glanced up to see the very top of a mountain sliding behind a cloud screen. It was as if he was peeking out to see if the coast was clear and Mc caught him looking. Fortunately, it was enough to satiate Mc's desire to see the famous icon.
We arrived in Tokyo Station and caught a train to Ebisu Station. For once, we were early to meet someone, but since IB was coming from work and couldn't meet us early, we had some time to kill. So we wandered around the shopping mall attached to the station. Many major train stations in Japan have multi-leveled shopping malls attached and it was a lot of fun to wander through and look at the ridiculously expensive items even though we were dragging suitcases. Then we made our way to where we thought we were supposed to meet (turns out it was the wrong exit . . . well, it was the right exit, but there were 3 west exits), IB found us, and we trekked off to his new apartment in Ebisu. IB has a very nice 1 bedroom apartment with a lovely view of a cemetery from his shower window. We only spent a moment there, however, because tonight was Robot Restaurant night and we had 8pm reservations!
Japan is famous for having wacky themed restaurants. I went to the Lock Up (pronounced "rock up" in Japan) with IB back in the day and a lady dressed like an officer seated us in a dark cell and halfway through dinner there was a jailbreak and the lights went off and emergency lights flashed while monsters ran around reaching through your cell bars and growling (because I guess in Japan you don't destroy monsters, you give them a fair trial and then send them to a jail with questionable locks). It was really fun and Mc wanted to try one while were there. IB recommended the Robot Restaurant and got us reservations. If you want to go to the Robot Restaurant (and you do), do not fear calling to make reservations as the staff speak pretty good English.
When we arrived at the door of the restaurant, we were instructed to go purchase our tickets at a booth across the street. There was a large vending machine where you put in your 5,000¥ (yes, it was about $50 a piece, but we figured it was worth it for dinner and a show and a memorable experience) and then selected the bento dinner you wanted. Mc and IB chose curry and I chose a katsu sando (pork cutlet sandwich). Then we took our tickets back to the doorman, who admitted us to what appeared to be the inside of a disco ball. The waiting room was mind-boggling. Every surface was covered in mirrored tiles or crystals, including the floor and ceiling. There were low tables with red-velvet chairs. There were LED lights everywhere. I simply cannot convey how sparkly this room was. Mc got a beer while IB and I shouted at each other, conversationally.
Eventually, it was time to go to the main arena and we followed the crowd down about 3 flights of stairs. Each section of stairs was decorated differently, each more colorful than the last. (This is NOT a place to come while you're trippin' on something, it might make your brain explode.) I couldn't even begin to fathom where they bought the materials they used to decorate, is there a wallpaper shop that sells shiny linoleum for your walls with rainbow geckos and dragons? Once downstairs, we followed the crowd into a little room with stadium seating on either side. It only seated about 100 people and seats were unassigned. Because we didn't know this and hadn't rushed to the front of the crowd, we were unable to sit together, which was a bummer. Your seat had a tray and a small bottle of green tea (Mc's was already opened, gross) and you picked up your bento box from a table. My katsu came with a tiny cup of potato salad, and what goes better with potato salad than some cold french fries. The food was OK at best, definitely not where they were investing their money. The stadium seating was on either side of a rectangular strip about 10x50 and open on either end. It was surprisingly small. Behind the stadium seats were TV screens. Then entire wall was TV screens. Also the ceiling. Then the lights went down and the show started.
There are things about the Robot Restaurant that are easy to explain. For example, to the right of us (opposite end from the stairs) was where the robots came in and out from and there were large doors that opened and closed. There are 2 small bathrooms on the same end as the stairs (the women's is done entirely in crystals and mirrors, while the men's features a golden urinal). The audience was a pretty even mix of foreigners and Japanese business men. There were lots of lovely girls who did dance numbers in bra tops. From there, it gets . . . complicated. Here goes - there was a dance number that featured drummers, so girls came out and pretended to drum, like marching band-style, except that there were also taiko drummers and then one girl with bangs who played a real drum set, except the drum set was on a remote-controlled platform that drove around. There was a number where these huge robot legs came walking out of the gates, but instead of bodies they had stripper poles, but the girls didn't strip, so I guess they were just dancing poles. There was a brief and incredibly cheesy video they showed on the TV walls about a prehistoric planet that used to be peaceful till the evil robot-aliens arrived. Then two people dressed as robots (short robots, I think they were the ladies) walked out and waved their arms and then a panda and a tiger and a monkey ran out to fight the robots, but of course had no chance, even though the panda was wearing shorts. So they limped back behind the doors and then the panda came out riding a giant cow, which knocked down the robots. Obviously. But while they were down, they were not out, so a girl dressed like Captain America but wearing a red, white, and blue striped tutu ran out and tried defeating them with Thor's hammer. But only Thor can wield Thor's hammer, so next another two girls came riding out on a giant plastic dinosaur and whacked at the robots with a humongous mace (that was not at all a deflated silver exercise ball), which worked I think because both robots were blown backwards by nothing in particular. Then came the lady robots. (If you visit Tokyo, you will see the advertising for this restaurant which is a huge truck that drives around Tokyo with these robots on the truck bed.) The lady robots are HUGE upper halves of ladies with real ladies draped all over them as they are remote-controlled around the small space. Then all robot hell breaks loose and every conceivable robot comes out - a robot with wheels for feet skates around with a rainbow afro while a 10 ft. robot bounces up and down in time with the loud music while another robot riding a neon rainbow circle that I think he stole from Rainbow Brite zooms around the room while girls sit on recumbent bikes that travel around a track on the ceiling just above your head. There was also a tank made of lights and a motorcycle, but it starts to become a loud flashing swirl in my head.
It was insane. And loud. And over the top. And awesome. You should go. Probably not with little kids or your coming-of-age-son (he looked super embarrassed and was slow to stand up), but definitely go. Mc's favorite part was that they were encouraging patrons not to touch the girls, but the English translation they kept flashing said, "No touching of hips and things" which was hilarious (again, the space is very small and there were a few times where a girl's "things" were 6 inches from my face). Despite the fact that it was expensive and packed and do 2 shows a night, I do not think they are making enough money to cover expenses. At one point I counted 30 performers on the floor at one time, not to mention all the lights and lasers and plastic dinosaurs, so you should go before they declare bankruptcy. We had a lot of fun and it was definitely a great start to our time with IB.
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| Mosaic in the waiting area upstairs |
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| Remote-controlled drum set, and so it begins . . . |
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